It is so easy to feel stuck; to feel like you are fated to remain where you are, how you are -- forever. But it's just not true. And the reality is, that change begins in the smallest of moments.
Change begins with realizing that your life is directed
by the choices you make, large and small.
For a long time, I felt like my life was guided by a force much greater than myself, and I trusted it wholeheartedly. I'd simply listen to the instructions I received from Creator and walk the path with as much courage as I could muster as it unfolded before me. And then something happened -- it just kind of stopped. It really began for me last Summer while I was living out my life-long dream of traveling cross-country, teaching and wildcrafting and visiting friends and lovers along the way. I had wanted this for so long that I hadn't bothered to imagine anything else that came after. And so, paradoxically, I became quite depressed. Because what are you supposed to do once you've lived your dreams? The answer was not clear to me. While the linear and obvious choice might be to simply dream a new dream, such visions are not easy to come by, but must instead be nurtured into being from a world beyond this one. So I felt empty after my trip ended, not elated as I'd hoped. I was totally uncertain of what might come next.
I have tattoos on my fingers, and only my fingers. Each symbol was etched in my skin by hand beneath a Full Moon. The tattoos were part of an ongoing ritual meant to sow the seeds of my life's vision in the fertile fields of my flesh, where they could take root and grow on their own -- bearing flowers, then fruit as I lived their lessons daily. All Summer while I traversed the West Coast, the vision of a new tattoo emerged on my skin, clear as day though yet visible by sight. It was a lightning bolt on my right ring finger. Lightning. Petrichor. Rain across the Mesa. The lightning bolt, to me, symbolizes a direct and masculine force; definitive choice and decisive action.
Up to this point in my life, I have relied primarily on feminine modes of being in the world. I've remained largely receptive and reflective, trusting the wisdom of my body and the messages of the Earth. And while this life-way is precious to me, and needed in this world, indeed -- it no longer seems a complete or balanced way to approach my life. I am twenty seven and nearing my Saturn Return. Saturn rules structure, discipline, and boundaries. Saturn wants us to understand that the container is just as sacred as the waters which fill it. Saturn wants us to respect and acknowledge our limitations and clarify our intentions.
I have tattoos on my fingers, and only my fingers. Each symbol was etched in my skin by hand beneath a Full Moon. The tattoos were part of an ongoing ritual meant to sow the seeds of my life's vision in the fertile fields of my flesh, where they could take root and grow on their own -- bearing flowers, then fruit as I lived their lessons daily. All Summer while I traversed the West Coast, the vision of a new tattoo emerged on my skin, clear as day though yet visible by sight. It was a lightning bolt on my right ring finger. Lightning. Petrichor. Rain across the Mesa. The lightning bolt, to me, symbolizes a direct and masculine force; definitive choice and decisive action.
Up to this point in my life, I have relied primarily on feminine modes of being in the world. I've remained largely receptive and reflective, trusting the wisdom of my body and the messages of the Earth. And while this life-way is precious to me, and needed in this world, indeed -- it no longer seems a complete or balanced way to approach my life. I am twenty seven and nearing my Saturn Return. Saturn rules structure, discipline, and boundaries. Saturn wants us to understand that the container is just as sacred as the waters which fill it. Saturn wants us to respect and acknowledge our limitations and clarify our intentions.
+ + +
Saturn makes sure that we know that when we
don't make a choice, the choice is made for us.
+ + +
Recently I had the privilege of spending time with my dear friend Roxie and her newborn babe, Angus. Resting seaside on Vashon Island, we slept late into the day beside the Ocean and took long walks along the shoreline; gathered wild mussels on the rocks and spoke of all things, large and small. Roxie is someone I admire greatly. I treasure our friendship as well as the wisdom and beauty she shares so generously. As a mother of three and a woman who walks gracefully in many worlds, Roxie's perspective has been shaped by forces beyond my own experience. And for that, I am so grateful. During our time together, I was struggling with the consequences of some poor choices I had made and talking with her about the challenges I faced when it came to the indecisiveness that seemed to cloud my judgement daily. Roxie is also an excellent writer and someone whose words I savor whenever I have the chance. She pointed me toward a piece she'd written about coming to recognize and acknowledge the power of choice shortly after she gave birth to her first child. Reading it sparked something powerful within me. Which led me to brush my teeth even though I was tired -- a small choice. And to bigger choices as well -- such as the launch of an exciting new project, which I won't say much about now, but can't wait to share with you.
The point is -- we have choices. And it is up to us to recognize that we have choices. Maybe they are small, maybe they are large. But they are all important. And making these choices is actually what allows the guidance of Spirit to come through. Just as breathe and wind require the solid form of a flute to make sacred sounds, our choices provide a structure for Spirit to work within in order to consciously direct our lives.
So, I've written a guide that I hope that you will revisit on the regular. May it serve as a roadmap and a kind reminder of how to make choices that are good for you, not only in the moment, but within the wider context of the life you are being asked to live . . .
The point is -- we have choices. And it is up to us to recognize that we have choices. Maybe they are small, maybe they are large. But they are all important. And making these choices is actually what allows the guidance of Spirit to come through. Just as breathe and wind require the solid form of a flute to make sacred sounds, our choices provide a structure for Spirit to work within in order to consciously direct our lives.
So, I've written a guide that I hope that you will revisit on the regular. May it serve as a roadmap and a kind reminder of how to make choices that are good for you, not only in the moment, but within the wider context of the life you are being asked to live . . .
H O W T O M A K E W I S E C H O I C E S
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
a tender guide for moments of indecision
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
C L A R I F Y Y O U R P R I O R I T I E S
When we are clear about our priorities and grounded in our own ideas and experiences, wise choices flow naturally from this place. Knowing these things about ourselves is not always easy, but when we have a sense of what we are working toward and what our lives are in service to, we can guide every choice we make by this inner North Star which shines even in the darkest of moments. Each choice presented to us becomes simplified when we can discern whether or not it will support or detract from that which we've devoted ourselves to.
L I S T E N T O Y O U R B O D Y
Our hearts and our nervous systems know. They just do. The mind can come up with endless reasons about why something is a good idea, or a bad idea, but beneath all of this lies the wisdom of the body. You know that feeling you get - that urgency that drives you toward something, not necessarily because you want it, but because you're afraid that if you don't act now, the opportunity will vanish? That feeling is your body telling you to stop. To pause completely and not make a single move. That feeling is an indication to simply sit with the situation and allow it to continue reveal itself.
How often in your life have you thought that if you didn't jump on an opportunity that it would vanish? Ok . . . How often did that work out well? Sometimes it is true, that we must leap and allow the net to appear before us. And sometimes we just fall flat on our faces, realizing only after the fact, that we knew all along that thing // person // place // possibility was not really right. If you feel frantic in your body, urgent and over-eager, remind yourself that anything real and lasting, anything truly meant to be yours, will still be there whether or not you jump on it. Even time-sensitive decisions that are truly good for you, will not inspire this sense of desperation, but will guide you steadily toward action in a way that feels grounded and good to all parts of you.
To begin making decisions from this place of bodily awareness, notice what it feels like to really sense a yes, in a way that is simple and clear. What does that feel like? Remember this sensation and look for it when you are uncertain of how to proceed. If it's not there, don't force it. Only by saying no to those things that don't ultimately feel right, can we make space for those things truly meant for us.
J U S T L E T G O
Sometimes, when we've put so much into a relationship, a project, or even an idea, it can feel impossible to let go and move on. But having invested significantly in something is no reason to hold onto it, if it's just not working. Give yourself full permission to walk away. You do not owe anyone an apology. Your life will be transformed when you learn to recognize and honor these moments of letting go. Our Wildcrafted Datura Flower Essence is an excellent ally for cultivating this ability and helping you to remember that it is this endless cycle of releasing and calling in that makes life the dynamic and prismatic experience it was meant to be.
And if you really can't decide, just remember --
if it's not a Y E S ! it's probably a no . . .
C H O I C E S Y O U M A Y E N C O U N T E R
a n d h o w t o n a v i g a t e t h e m
w i t h g r a c e a n d a w a r e n e s s
I n R e l a t i o n s h i p
You have a choice about how you respond in relationships, whether those relationships are personal, professional, familial, or romantic. In ever interaction the one variable you have control over is your reaction. When something comes up that challenges you, take a moment to pause before responding. Take a breath and make a choice about what you want to do or say. Ask yourself - how can I choose vulnerability and honesty in this moment? How can I create connection through my words instead of separation? Is my response inviting this person toward me, or am I reacting from a place of defensiveness and pushing them away? Choose words that bring you closer to, not farther from, the people you care about.
W h e n N a v i g a t i n g C o n s u m e r i s m
Ask yourself - Do I need this? What did it take to create this? Whose time and energy did it take bring this thing into being and at what cost to them? What resources were extracted from the Earth to fabricate it? Is it something I can do without? If not, is it something I can borrow or buy used? Sometimes we do genuinely need to purchase new things, and it is okay to purchase something simply because it will bring you joy or be useful to you. Simply bringing awareness to the process is the most important practice. Because buying organic sheets is absolutely not going to save the world, especially if you have a linen closet full of perfectly good sheets at home already. Do what you can not to fall into the trap of consumerism thinly veiled as activism. Buy less, buy used, borrow when you can. And make time to go to garage sales -- cause that's where the real magic happens.
A t W o r k
Ask yourself - Why do I do this job? Do I like my job? Does my work inspire me to grow and satisfy my desire to be of service in this world? If not, is there a way I could make small changes so that it does? Do I feel good about the way I treat the people I work with? Do I feel respected in my work environment? Am I dedicating enough time and attention to my work. Too much time and attention? What does a healthy work/life balance look like to me right now? How can I stay grounded in the reality that what I do to make money is not necessarily my work in life? What ways do I value my contributions beyond my job?
O n S o c i a l M e d i a
Before mindlessly opening Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat, etc. - pause, notice where you are. Ask yourself what you're feeling; what you need in that moment. Do you have a specific reason for checking your email for the 26th time today? Could it wait until later, when you are sitting down, focused, and able to really give your full presence to whatever is being communicated. How do you feel after spending your time engaged with these technologies? What do you get out of engaging with them? Is it what you want to get? Our phones and computers are magical and powerful tools. And like all tools, they must be wielded wisely and with an understanding of the power that they hold - to create and to destroy. Time is our most precious resource in this life and one of the only things that is truly non-renewable. Spending an hour a day on social media may not seem like a big deal in the short-term, but in the long-term, consider if this is something you consider a necessary part of a life well lived.
W h e n Y o u E a t
Are you hungry when you eat? How do you know when you've had enough food? What foods make you feel vital and healthy after you eat them? Which foods make you feel sluggish, heavy, or even ill? Are there any foods you know you are sensitive to but choose to eat anyway? What would it feel like to make a different choice? Where do you like to sit when you eat? Where does your food come from? Are you making the most ethical choices within reach, considering your budget, location, etc? What are ways you could support more local food producers and folks raising animals in ways that nourish rather than deplete the Earth? If these resources are out of reach, financially, are there ways you could trade with folks? Raise chickens in your backyard? Grow lettuce in a window box or raised bed? Join a community garden? When we grow or harvest any portion of our food from cultivated or wild sources, it feeds us twice: once in the connection we have with the Earth in cultivating or foraging these foods and again when we take their nourishment into our bodies.
I n Y o u r I n n e r W o r l d
This is probably the most important as well as the most challenging area of life to recognize that we have choices. We are so identified with our thoughts and with the storylines constantly playing in our own heads that we often forget that they may not be helpful, kind, or even true. Listen to the voices in your head. Think critically about whether they are helping or hurting you. If what they're saying isn't based in reality, don't believe them. Talk back. Ask them who they are, where they came from. Notice and question your inner critic. We have the potential to be our own greatest allies as well as our worst enemies. Practice offering yourself kindness and encouragement regularly, until it becomes woven into your inner dialogue. Because when it comes down to it, the landscape of our inner world is the richest space we will ever inhabit. But like a garden, it requires careful tending in order to bloom. When we wisely choose who and what to invite close in, all of life becomes a Garden Party.
You have a choice about how you respond in relationships, whether those relationships are personal, professional, familial, or romantic. In ever interaction the one variable you have control over is your reaction. When something comes up that challenges you, take a moment to pause before responding. Take a breath and make a choice about what you want to do or say. Ask yourself - how can I choose vulnerability and honesty in this moment? How can I create connection through my words instead of separation? Is my response inviting this person toward me, or am I reacting from a place of defensiveness and pushing them away? Choose words that bring you closer to, not farther from, the people you care about.
W h e n N a v i g a t i n g C o n s u m e r i s m
Ask yourself - Do I need this? What did it take to create this? Whose time and energy did it take bring this thing into being and at what cost to them? What resources were extracted from the Earth to fabricate it? Is it something I can do without? If not, is it something I can borrow or buy used? Sometimes we do genuinely need to purchase new things, and it is okay to purchase something simply because it will bring you joy or be useful to you. Simply bringing awareness to the process is the most important practice. Because buying organic sheets is absolutely not going to save the world, especially if you have a linen closet full of perfectly good sheets at home already. Do what you can not to fall into the trap of consumerism thinly veiled as activism. Buy less, buy used, borrow when you can. And make time to go to garage sales -- cause that's where the real magic happens.
A t W o r k
Ask yourself - Why do I do this job? Do I like my job? Does my work inspire me to grow and satisfy my desire to be of service in this world? If not, is there a way I could make small changes so that it does? Do I feel good about the way I treat the people I work with? Do I feel respected in my work environment? Am I dedicating enough time and attention to my work. Too much time and attention? What does a healthy work/life balance look like to me right now? How can I stay grounded in the reality that what I do to make money is not necessarily my work in life? What ways do I value my contributions beyond my job?
O n S o c i a l M e d i a
Before mindlessly opening Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat, etc. - pause, notice where you are. Ask yourself what you're feeling; what you need in that moment. Do you have a specific reason for checking your email for the 26th time today? Could it wait until later, when you are sitting down, focused, and able to really give your full presence to whatever is being communicated. How do you feel after spending your time engaged with these technologies? What do you get out of engaging with them? Is it what you want to get? Our phones and computers are magical and powerful tools. And like all tools, they must be wielded wisely and with an understanding of the power that they hold - to create and to destroy. Time is our most precious resource in this life and one of the only things that is truly non-renewable. Spending an hour a day on social media may not seem like a big deal in the short-term, but in the long-term, consider if this is something you consider a necessary part of a life well lived.
W h e n Y o u E a t
Are you hungry when you eat? How do you know when you've had enough food? What foods make you feel vital and healthy after you eat them? Which foods make you feel sluggish, heavy, or even ill? Are there any foods you know you are sensitive to but choose to eat anyway? What would it feel like to make a different choice? Where do you like to sit when you eat? Where does your food come from? Are you making the most ethical choices within reach, considering your budget, location, etc? What are ways you could support more local food producers and folks raising animals in ways that nourish rather than deplete the Earth? If these resources are out of reach, financially, are there ways you could trade with folks? Raise chickens in your backyard? Grow lettuce in a window box or raised bed? Join a community garden? When we grow or harvest any portion of our food from cultivated or wild sources, it feeds us twice: once in the connection we have with the Earth in cultivating or foraging these foods and again when we take their nourishment into our bodies.
I n Y o u r I n n e r W o r l d
This is probably the most important as well as the most challenging area of life to recognize that we have choices. We are so identified with our thoughts and with the storylines constantly playing in our own heads that we often forget that they may not be helpful, kind, or even true. Listen to the voices in your head. Think critically about whether they are helping or hurting you. If what they're saying isn't based in reality, don't believe them. Talk back. Ask them who they are, where they came from. Notice and question your inner critic. We have the potential to be our own greatest allies as well as our worst enemies. Practice offering yourself kindness and encouragement regularly, until it becomes woven into your inner dialogue. Because when it comes down to it, the landscape of our inner world is the richest space we will ever inhabit. But like a garden, it requires careful tending in order to bloom. When we wisely choose who and what to invite close in, all of life becomes a Garden Party.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
a n d b e c a u s e i t b e a r s r e p e a t i n g
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
If you really can't decide, just remember --
if it's not a Y E S ! it's probably a no . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
